God is not silent. God is not slow.

About 9 months ago now, I came across this song on Noise Trade by Wright Family Music. Someone I follow on Twitter sent out a tweet about it, mentioning that proceeds would help support adoption- which of course, automatically piqued my interest. As I listened to the song and read a little bit of the story behind it I was brought to tears and it has been a favorite ever since.

The couple who wrote this song have walked through infertility and are now going through adoption. Pretty much I feel like this song sums up everything we fought to believe to be true about God and His goodness over the last 4 years of walking those same journeys of infertility and adoption.

Over the course of those 4 years we fought to believe that God is good and when he withholds something (even good things like children!) it is out of His infinite goodness and love for us.  It's funny because since finalizing our kids' adoption and finding out we were pregnant so many people have said to us, "God is so good!" And while I never say this, every time I think, "You're right- He is good. And He was just as good when we had no idea what would happen with adopting Ella and Haddon. And He was just as good when we miscarried. And He was just as good when we had no children and so desperately wanted them." Instead I smile and say, "You're right, He really is."

Most recently this song has been on my mind (and often on continuous repeat around the house) as we have several dear friends going through hard trials.  We are studying the book of James in our church Shepherding group and it's such a good reminder that God uses trials to perfect us.  Even so, watching people you love experience trials and heartache is hard; I just love the reminder in the last lines of this song:

In this season I am learning, that you're not silent or slow
If you only give me more of you, it will always be enough.
You are the prize, You are the prize, You are the prize.

Those lines get me every time. God is not silent. He is not slow. Regardless of what the trial is, ultimately what we need is more of Him. Ah, that my heart would desire more of Christ and not just an end to trials or the fulfillment of what I think I want.

If you get a chance you can listen to the song here: