Prayer, a reminder of our need for God

Tomorrow marks 4 months that we've been fostering our little ones! We are amazed at how time has flown and by how much they have grown and changed in that amount of time. It's hard to imagine life without them (did we really used to be able to go out whenever we felt like it?!!). And I'm pretty sure up until 4 months ago, our living room never looked like this.


Tomorrow is also significant in that the hearing to terminate parental rights is tomorrow morning. If rights are terminated the birth parents have 60 days to appeal. In the meantime we will be able to start the adoption process. It is just another reminder in all of this of how dependent upon the Lord I need to be. The first few weeks that was really easy to see- I knew beyond a doubt there was no way I could survive without the Lord. As we adjusted, got into a routine, and things got easier I find myself far less dependent on God's daily sustaining grace.This hearing is a reminder of the reality that God is in control, not me.
I am so thankful for this mornings sermon on Luke 11:5-13 and the excellent reminder from Pastor Danny Lee to trust in God's goodness to give us His best. When we pray we are reminded of our dependence on God. While I cannot wait for tomorrow's hearing to be over, I am so grateful for the opportunity to be reminded of just how much I need the Lord. Please join with us in praying for tomorrow's hearing, we are excited to see how God works!

Multiplied Joy

First of all, I just have to say a huge thank you to all of you who have encouraged us with your support. So many of you have blessed us with your prayers, and I am convinced it is your intercession for us that has made all of the transitions go as smoothly as they have. We have been HUGELY blessed as our friends and family have expressed their excitement for us and have loved us by loving our kids. We are overwhelmed by your love and support!

Many of you have asked where we are in the process of adoption at this point. So I’ll give you a brief update. From the time the kids were first placed with us our goal has been adoption, and, though not “risk free,” the social workers for their case have been very confident that we would be able to do that. There is a hearing set for the end of July to terminate parental rights at which point the adoption plan (us!) would be presented. If no one contests then we could potentially finalize the adoption in September. In the meantime, the kids still have visits once a month with their grandmother. They have had one visit so far and have another one coming up on Monday. Please pray for them (and us) last months visit brought with it some rocky transitions and we are not sure how these visits will continue to affect their transition into our family.

Our prayer right now is that the termination will not be contested and that we will be able to move ahead towards adoption! Obviously there are a lot of things that we could spend many anxious hours worrying about in this whole process. Another foster mom told me recently that the whole process of fostering and adopting has made her realize above all that her kids are not her own- they belong to the Lord. As much as I want to claim these two little ones as my own, this whole process forces me to see that they are a blessing from the Lord, given to us for a time. And whether he gives them to us for several months or for a lifetime I need to hold that blessing with an open hand. Please pray as we learn to trust the Lord with our kids!

In the meantime, we are learning to take things one day at a time; to do what is best for our kids today and to do what honors the Lord today. So our days are filled with bubble blowing, alphabet singing, ball playing, tickling (let’s be honest temper –tantrums and time-outs), glorious nap-time (!!) and lots of cuddling.

Right before we got the kids, Josh asked a friend if we were crazy to take on two kids like this. His response was that, yes, quite possibly we were crazy, but that in the process our joy would multiplied. And he was right. Because despite a crazy, overwhelming 8 weeks, and despite the fears that threaten to take hold at times, I would not trade anything for the joy that has been ours these last 8 weeks.

Adoption Story

Josh posted a link to this blog post on adoption earlier today. I just got a chance to read it -the refusal to nap, clogged toilet, potty accident on the floor, dinner, and bath time slightly delayed me. I'm not complaining though, and reading this post was a perfect reminder to me of the joy that is ours as we seek to adopt these two little ones.
So if you get a chance in the midst of all the things that God has put in your path today, I highly recommend reading this article!

There was a Girl. Fifteen Years Old: An Adoption Story

Transitions

The other day it really hit me just how much my life has changed in the last 3 weeks. I was sitting on the bathroom floor, waving my hands around and chanting "You can poop! You can poop! Gooooo poop!" to a 2 year old who, though absolutely adorable, was less than happy to be sitting on the toilet. I just had to laugh as I thought about what a difference a few weeks can make.

So how has the transition from working full time to being a stay-at-home (mostly- I still teach one class) mom gone? I'll be honest, my first day back to teaching my class was a huge relief. Not only was I out of the house after what had seemed like a very long first week, but I was doing something that I knew and was comfortable with. In many ways teaching has been my security blanket over the last couple of weeks (I honestly can't believe that's all its been!). Even though I have been longing to be a mom, the feeling of being overwhelmed and in far over my head made me want to run to what I knew and was confident in. There is nothing like becoming a mom to make you realize your complete and utter dependence upon God. I don't think I would have survived the last few weeks without his grace and mercy and endless supply of strength.

That first week, especially the first few days, kind of felt like I was drowning. Like I said in my last post, there were glimmers of light and grace in the midst of it, but most of the time I felt like I was desperately trying to keep my head above water and failing miserably. I lived for nap time that first week, and yet even that time was fraught with battles of its own- a screaming 2 year old, crying hysterically for "Grandma" - which made naps and bedtime the most emotionally difficult part of the day for all of us.

Week two was a bit better. I braved the outside world and made it to Target and Trader Joe's with both kids in tow- the major achievement of my week! That first trip to Target I just wanted to keep circling the store even after I had everything I needed! It just felt so good to be in the real world again. As we began to settle into a routine things began to look better. Nap time and bedtime have become much better- the potential for a melt down is still there, but the occurrence is becoming less and less.

So here we are already into week three. We are beginning to feel like these are our kids, and I think they too are beginning to feel at home. We made it to church on Sunday (another huge accomplishment!) and the kids did great. Monday was the first day where I found myself really thinking, "We can do this." And today I really couldn't wait to get back to them after teaching my class and was a little sad when I remembered they would be sleeping when I got home. Our lives are still in transition. There are still hard days, hard hours, but ultimately we are loving the changes that God has brought into our lives in the form of these two little lives.

Life as We Know It

If any of you have seen the movie Life as We Know It with Katherine Hegel and Josh Duhamel, then I'm sure that you laughed as these two single, independent people took on the task of raising a baby. I thought the movie was hilarious- and now I find myself living it!
Josh and I have been in the process of getting approved to do foster care, ultimately with the hope of adopting at some point, and last Friday we got our first placement- a 2 1/2 year old girl (Genny) and a 7 month old boy (Christian). Let's just say that if someone were to film our lives in the last week, some parts of it wouldn't be to far off from Life as We know It!
Our induction into parenthood has been a whirlwind to say the least, but we have survived the first week, temper tantrums, ER visits and all. I've realized that as much as you think you are ready for kids, nothing can really ever prepare you for what life will be like.
We knew going into it that the kids would be a little shell shocked from all the changes the first few days, we just didn't realize how shell shocked we would be. Despite the anticipation and excitement about taking these little ones into our home, the reality is that last Friday, two little strangers came into our home. This last week has been a week of all of us getting to know each other and it has not been without its trials. On Wednesday night we had to put our dog down; later that night the baby got sick, and Thursday night I was in the ER with him while Josh was at home having his own struggles with bedtime. Then last night Josh came down with the stomach flu.
Despite all of these things, there have been glimmers of light in the midst of it. Moments that make me realize God's daily sustaining grace in the midst of hard times. And Oh, how I need His grace! Little things like watching Josh play tickle monster with Genny, reading bedtimes stories together on our bed, blowing bubbles together, hugs and kisses, and snuggling.
Here are a few pictures from our week (sorry, no kid pics for confidentiality reasons). A visual look at all the little changes in our life.






But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Project 52- Week 10

Week 9 never happened- lot's of craziness going on here (which I'll be blogging about in the next couple of posts)!
But Luke offered to pose for week 10 of my project 52. Well, he didn't really pose, I coerced him- and this was only one of the few I got before he flopped down and demanded I scratch his belly.

Project 52- Week 8

One of my goals in doing a Project 52 this year is to really challenge myself in my photography to try new things and improve my skill as a photographer. For week eights challenge I definitely challenged myself and learned a lot!
Since we had that Monday off for President's day (which was a much needed day of recovery from Winter Retreat with the college group!), I did a little photo shoot for some friends. This definitely stretched me and while I'm not thrilled with how all of the pictures came out, I learned a lot and can't wait to do another photo shoot for them and hopefully get some better pictures. Yay for friends who are willing to be my guinea pigs (and super cute ones at that)!